Lauren is one of Chris' Spring 2012 Professional Speaking students at Carnegie Mellon. Here she writes about communication.
Technology
is becoming a more dominant means of communication and non-verbal communication
can offer so many insights. How much impact does oral communication still have
today? When difficult conversations can be avoided and addressed through email,
persuading people can be done through a power-point presentation, and break-ups
can happen via text message; oral communication is becoming even more rare.
Although oral communication has become down played within today’s society, it
is still the most important way to make sure your ideas and thoughts are being
received in the correct and most successful manner.
There
are multiple factors that go into how oral communication is presented and
received such as the relationship between two people or the ages of the parties.
In a study done on married couples, more balanced couples resulted from communication
containing positive re-enforcement or just plain information[1]. Conversations can be
interpreted in many ways by many different kinds of people, but what makes them
effective? How do we get our ideas and points across? First let us define
verbal communication as the exchanging of opinions or information via speech[2]. While communication
itself also takes into account writing or symbolic ways of exchanging opinions
or information, I will focus mostly on how to achieve efficient speech.
With all
the different verbal messages we are being sent it is difficult to sift through
them and get the true meaning behind the verbal communication. Having difficult
conversations are uncomfortable and can make the person receiving the
information on the defensive end. Persuasive conversations can try and open a
person up to a new way of thinking. Any type of oral communication can be
received and delivered effectively if both parties are open to the emotions and
reasons behind the information or opinion[3]. The emotional drive
behind communication opens the door to letting people step into your shoes. By
putting yourself in the other person’s position emotionally, you are able to
understand clearly what they are saying and why they are saying it3. Conversations become more positive and can
enhance relationships just by creating a more transparent flow of information
through emotional responsiveness.
The
question is how do we pull these emotions out of each other to become more
effective communicators. Common tools used are mirroring, Socrates questioning
and being an effective listener. Mirroring is when you repeat the information
or certain non-verbal cues you have just heard/seen as a way to make the other
party feel comfortable thus helping them open up and make his/her emotions clearer.
On the same note, Socrates questioning asks opened ended questions instead of
yes/no questions, which help lead to more information or feelings on the topic.
While these tools will help the party open up emotionally, you must also be
willing to listen for the emotion in the response and respond effectively.
Whether
giving a speech to a group of people, talking about yourself at a job
interview, or having a conversation with your parents, keep an open mind and
get a feel of the emotions behind the words. When you listen to the words, pick
up on the emotions, and respond accordingly, you too can have effective
real-world oral communication.
[1] Rausch, H., Barry, W., Hertel, R., & Swain, M. Communication,
conflict and marriages. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 1974.
[3] Robinson, L., Segal, J., & Segal, R. (2011, July).
Effective Communication. Retrieved
January 23, 2012, from Help Guide: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eq4_emotion_communicates.htm
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